I had a nice time at my Grandma's yesterday for Fourth of July. I'm not big on symbolic displays of firepower as a celebration of patriotism, but they were pretty. We watched the nearby fireworks display from the back of her place. My favorite was the one that looked like red ash flicked from the tip of a giant, invisible cigarette.

I really like my Grandma. She's an amazing woman, but tonight she totally broke my heart. We were talking about how she and I are both introverted and she talked about something her husband (who died when I was little) said to her once:

"And Pop said, 'Rosemary, I'm a loner, but you're more of a loner than I am. You're okay on your own. You don't need me.' ...I did, though."

And then we went on to talk about something else. God, but that hurts. I'm not good with emotion in general, but I understand that.

I've been pretty disjointed and detached lately, and I'm not sure exactly how to fix that. I don't really do much and I don't do anything with people besides my immediate family because I've not had friends since I left high school three years ago. Usually I'm alright with that since I'm pretty introverted. I can amuse myself and I get my dose of human interaction here and elsewhere, but sometimes it just doesn't seem like enough.